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Naked three-point stance helps Beaver OL get the boot

Oh boy.  There are quite a few directions this one could take.  Let’s get started and see where it leads.

(Based on the headline, I’m leaning toward nowhere good.)

According to the Corvallis Gazette Times, Oregon State offensive lineman Tyler Thomas was dismissed from the football program Monday for what could technically be described as an incident early Sunday morning but should realistically be labeled as an episode of drunken awesomeness.

The particulars are that Thomas was arrested and charged with first-degree criminal trespass, second-degree criminal mischief and resisting arrest.  We’ll allow the Gazette-Times to shade in the more colorful details of the arrest.

According to information from the Corvallis Police Department, at about 4:51 a.m., police were called to 519 N.W. 14th Street after a 32-year-old woman reported there was a naked man in the upstairs office of her residence.

When officers arrived, they ordered him to get on the ground several times, but he refused. 

Then Thomas, who had reportedly been drinking, got into a “three-point stance” and lunged at the officers, who Tased him. 

To summarize: a 4:51 a.m. naked three-point stance in a stranger’s house that ends with a Taser.  I mean, who among us hasn’t found ourselves in the exact same situation at some point in our life?

Regardless, the stodgy, old-school OSU athletic department took issue with Thomas working overtime on his technique unfettered by the bonds of clothing and, as a result, the redshirt freshman is no longer a member of Mike Riley’s team.

Some people nowadays really need to lighten up…

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Respond to “Naked three-point stance helps Beaver OL get the boot”
  1. My Dixie Normus says: Aug 23, 2010 4:36 PM

    Naked beavers are awesome!

  2. Florida727 says: Aug 23, 2010 5:41 PM

    and just exactly how did he get into the “upstairs office of her residence” without first being invited? 32-year old woman, huh? college freshman? wonder what she charges per hour?

  3. Bradenton Buc says: Aug 23, 2010 5:45 PM

    At least he lunged AT them! Don’t want to imagine him naked in a 3 point stance going away from me. And we wonder why the gov sets a minimum drinking age.

  4. ShaKey says: Aug 23, 2010 6:01 PM

    I love College, you can’t make this stuff up!

  5. BeavFan says: Aug 23, 2010 7:31 PM

    I doubt she charges much per hour these days since she was 9 mos pregnant and sleeping in the room next door with her husband. She woke up to the sound of the OL pissing on her husband’s computer. AWESOME!!!!!!
    How do you get into a stranger’s house without being invited? Read the article. It’s called “criminal trespassing.” AWESOME!!!!!!!!

  6. Markus says: Aug 24, 2010 3:08 AM

    Mr Thomas, meet your new coach Houston Nutt!!!

  7. Cubano says: Aug 24, 2010 7:59 AM

    I am ordering my Tyler Thomas jersey RIGHT NOW!!!!! That dude is my new hero. Nice one JT!

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