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Water wet, sky blue, NCAA probing Auburn… again


Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a man walks into an Auburn bar, and trips over an NCAA investigator…

A new day has dawned, so, of course, it’s time to bring you word of a new NCAA investigation involving the Auburn football program and its since-banned “Tiger Prowl”.  This investigation, though, should not be confused with the NCAA’s ongoing probe into the Cam Newton situation.  Or the ongoing probe into Auburn recruiting practices.  Or the ongoing probe into allegations made by four former players on an HBO show.

Or this is just one big ol’ probe underneath one huge NCAA umbrella.  One of the two.

The Birmingham News reported Thursday that they had requested of the school any records pertaining to individual violations that may have arisen from last year’s “Tiger Prowl” recruiting caravan.  The thing is, Auburn was forced to deny the open-records request because, you guessed it, last year’s “Tiger Prowl” is currently part of a pending NCAA investigation and, the paper writes, Alabama law therefore does not require release of the records at this time.

“The NCAA is not reviewing Tiger Prowl as individual violations. They are reviewing the entire event as a whole,” Auburn Senior Associate Athletics Director Scott Carr wrote the News via email. “Therefore, the investigative phase of this event is still ongoing and we are currently working with the NCAA.”

The paper goes on to note that Auburn would not comment further on what the NCAA is investigating in relation to last year’s “Prowl”.

“Tiger Prowl” first appeared in April of 2009 in Gene Chizik‘s first year as AU’s coach.  That year, coaches would pile into a white or black stretch limo Hummer, and proceeded to travel from high school to high school to high school visiting potential recruits, hoping to make enough of an impression on the players that, come Signing Day, they’d put pen to paper and fax their intentions to Auburn.  The event was held again the following year, only this time with pimped-out buses/motor coaches.

Shortly after “Tiger Prowl v2.0” began, however, the NCAA passed a measure that prevented a school from sending more than two coaches in any one day to the same high school.

On a completely unrelated note, we can neither confirm nor deny the rumors circulating that the NCAA is considering relocating its home office to the state of Alabama in order to save on travel costs.

Diagnosed with bovine leukemia, Bevo XIV retires immediately

Associated Press
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Turns out Steve Spurrier isn’t the only iconic college football figure to retire this week.

Texas announced Tuesday evening Bevo XIV has been diagnosed with bovine leukemia and has been retired to his pasture, effective immediately.

Bevo XIV missed Saturday’s stunning upset of then-No. 10 Oklahoma with what the school called a “life threatening” illness, and rumors circulated around the internet this week he had passed away.

Bevo XIV officially hangs up his horns with a 106-41 record with two national championship appearances.

There is no word at press time on a possible debut of Bevo XV.

Dabo Swinney won’t stop talking about “Clemsoning”

Dabo Swinney
Associated Press

Urban Dictionary defines “Clemsoning” as “the act of an inexplicably disappointing performance, usually within the context of a college football season.”

Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney was asked about the phenomenon following the Tigers’ destruction of Georgia Tech Saturday and promptly went off. The question, asked by ESPN’s David Hale, was in reference to Swinney’s program shaking the label – Saturday marked Clemson’s 34th straight win over an unranked opponent – but Swinney didn’t see it that way.

Armed with some new facts (Clemson SID Tim Bourret noted 50 teams have fallen as ranked opponents to unranked foes since the Tigers last did so on Nov. 19, 2011), Swinney again targeted the “Clemsoning” label.

“I think it’s an agenda. It’s just bias,” Swinney told the Charleston (S.C.) Post & Courier Tuesday. “People are uneducated. They’re just ignorant and lazy because they’re not looking at the facts. If they did, they’d be focused on other schools and not Clemson. They’d be dialed in on what Clemson has done. There aren’t three other schools in the country as consistent as Clemson, in all aspects.”

I hate to break it to you, Dabo: you are absolutely correct, but the term, as they say, has been coined.

Just go beat Florida State, beat South Carolina, win the ACC and win a national title and maybe Urban Dictionary will delete that pesky page out of a sign of respect.

Also, No. 5 Clemson hosts unranked Boston College on Saturday. This would be a very, very unfortunate time for the Tigers to suffer an upset.