Man chants ‘War Eagle’ in Whataburger, gets socked in the face

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Waaaarrrrrrrrrr [/punch]

From the ridiculous file, we bring you the following from the Northwest Florida Daily News: 

According to a police report, a man was punched in an Okaloosa County (FL) Whataburger by two unidentified men for chanting “War Eagle!” while waiting in line for his food. The incident occurred at about 2:20 Monday morning — so it gives you some context as to what may have been the man’s, um, state of mind — and the chanter reportedly returned a punch.

The two men who threw the first punches then escaped on foot.

But, wait, there’s more.

Apparently, one of the assailants hit another man in the face who was sitting on the hood of a car in the restaurant parking lot. It turns out the second victim was the brother of the woman who was with the man chanting “War Eagle!”

This is for real, you guys.

Thankfully, the assailants took off before receiving their food. On the contrary, I’m seriously hoping the men who were punched received a free taquito, or apple pie, or something.

Two weeks from Championship Saturday, here are all of the division-clinching scenarios

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Unbelievably, we’re down to the penultimate full weekend of the 2017 season. And, with that, races for divisional and conference championships are both heating up and winding down — or, in a handful of cases, already settled.

Below is how each of the 10 leagues stands with just two Saturdays remaining before championship weekend.

AAC EAST
The winner of the Nov. 24 USF (6-1) at UCF (6-0) game will win the division, regardless of what happens in UCF’s game against Temple at noon today.

AAC WEST
Memphis (5-1) beat Houston (4-2) in mid-October. Memphis clinches the division with a win in either today’s game against SMU or East Carolina in the regular-season finale, regardless of what Houston does. Houston needs for Memphis to lose both of those games, plus win their final two games Tulane and Navy.

ACC ATLANTIC
Clemson has already clinched the division.

ACC COASTAL
Miami has already clinched the division.

BIG 12
Unless Oklahoma (6-1), which beat both TCU (5-2) and Oklahoma State (5-2) earlier this season, loses its last two games — ROTFL one of them is against Kansas — the Sooners have essentially clinched one of the two spots in the conference title game. TCU needs to either win one of its last two games (at Tech, vs. Baylor) and have OSU lose at least one, or win out regardless of what OSU does in order to claim the other spot. OSU, meanwhile, needs to win out (vs. K-State, vs. Kansas) and have the Horned Frogs lose at least one. West Virginia (5-2), which lost to both TCU and OSU, needs to beat Texas and win at OU while TCU and OSU lose at least one game apiece.

There’s also the possibility that all four teams finish at 6-3, getting there by way of OSU, TCU and WVU winning out.  In such a scenario, Oklahoma and TCU would play for the Big 12 title by virtue of a 2-1 record against the foursome.  At 1-2, Oklahoma State and West Virginia would be eliminated.

BIG TEN EAST
If Ohio State beats Illinois AND Michigan loses to Wisconsin today, the Buckeyes will win the division. If that doesn’t happen, the B1G East race will play out in Week 13. Courtesy of the Big Ten Network, below are all of the scenarios heading into Week 12:

Ohio State (6-1): Win vs. Illinois AND Michigan loss at Wisconsin OR win final two games (vs. Illinois; at Michigan).
Michigan (5-2): Win final two games (at Wisconsin; vs. Ohio State) AND Michigan State and Penn State lose one game.
Michigan State (5-2): Win final two games (vs. Maryland; at Rutgers) AND Ohio State loses final two games.
Penn State (5-2): Win final two games (vs. Nebraska; at Maryland) AND Ohio State loses final two games AND Michigan State loses a game.

BIG TEN WEST
Wisconsin has already clinched the division.

CONFERENCE USA EAST
Florida Atlantic (6-0) clinches the division with a win over Florida International (4-2) later today OR with a win over Charlotte in Week 13 even with a loss to FIU. FIU needs to beat FAU AND Western Kentucky AND have FAU lose to Charlotte as well.

CONFERENCE USA WEST
North Texas has already clinched the division.

MAC EAST
Akron and Ohio are both 5-2, but the Zips beat the Bobcats this past Tuesday night. Thus, Akron wins the division with either a Week 13 win over Kent State OR an Ohio loss to Buffalo. Ohio, meanwhile, needs to win next week AND have Akron lose.

MAC WEST
Toledo (6-1) and Northern Illinois (6-1) are left standing, with Toledo beating NIU in the first week of November. So, Toledo wins the West with either a win over Western Michigan OR an NIU loss. Northern Illinois needs to beat Central Michigan AND have Toledo lose to WMU at home to win the division.

MWC MOUNTAIN
Boise State (6-0) beat Wyoming (5-1) Oct. 21. Thus, Boise State wins the Mountain division if it wins its last two games (vs. Air Force, at Fresno State) regardless of what Wyoming does; if it wins one game regardless of what Wyoming does; if it loses its last two games and Wyoming does the same. Conversely, Wyoming needs to win its last two games (vs. Fresno State, at San Jose State) while Boise State loses its last two.

MWC WEST
Fresno State (5-1) beat San Diego State (4-2) Oct. 21. Thus, Fresno State wins the West division if it wins its last two games (at Wyoming, vs. Boise State) regardless of what San Diego State does; if it wins one game regardless of what San Diego State does; if it loses its last two games and San Diego State does the same. Conversely, San Diego State needs to win its last two games (vs. Nevada, vs. New Mexico) while Fresno State loses its last two.

PAC-12 NORTH
And now we come to the somewhat convoluted portion of the program. Stanford and Washington State are both 6-2, while Washington is 5-2. Stanford has beaten Washington but lost to Wazzu, while the Apple Cup awaits next Saturday. So, off we go with how each team can win the division.

Stanford: win vs. Cal in Week 12 AND Washington State loss to Washington in Week 13.
Washington: win vs. Utah in Week 12 AND win vs. Washington State in Week 13 AND Stanford loss to Cal in Week 12.
Washington State: win vs. Washington in Week 13 OR losses by Washington AND Stanford in Week 12.

And, if all three teams finish 6-3? Washington, by virtue of its record in divisional games — 4-1, compared to 3-2 for the others — would get the nod.

PAC-12 SOUTH
USC has already clinched the division

SEC EAST
Georgia has already clinched the division

SEC WEST
This one is really simple: the winner of the Alabama-Auburn Iron Bowl next Saturday will clinch the division.

SUN BELT
There’s Pac-12 North convoluted, then there’s SBC convoluted. Entering Week 12, this conference has four teams with just one loss apiece — Troy, Georgia State and Appalachian State at 5-1, Arkansas State at 4-1. To make matters even worse, there has been just one game played between the four — Troy beat Georgia State — and just two in the remaining three weeks of the season — Troy vs. Arkansas State, Georgia State vs. Appalachian State. Things will become (a little) clearer after Week 12 play for the only FBS league that doesn’t have a league game to determine a champion.

UNC banned Miami’s turnover chain creator from contact with Tar Heels

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With the Miami Hurricanes roaring up the rankings, much attention has been directed at their new signature, the turnover chain. The turnover chain has had its own feature stories written about it in recent weeks, and the creator of that new signature sideline piece of art has become more well known because of it. According to a report from The News & Observer, however, that same jewelry artist has also been banned from having any contact with players from UNC.

According to the report, Anthony John Machado was contacted by the University of North Carolina in 2010 to request he disassociate with any Tar Heel player. The timing of the letter is not coincidental, as the university was under investigation for alleged violations within the football program connected to alleged improper benefits.

UNC on Oct. 25, 2010, sent a letter of disassociation to Machado addressed to his store, A.J.’s Jewelry, in Cutler Bay, Fla. In the letter, Dick Baddour, who was the UNC athletic director at the time, wrote that Machado’s “involvement with one of our student-athletes has led to the NCAA declaring one of student-athletes permanently ineligible.”

The school at one point returned some jewelry provided by Machado to an unnamed student-athlete. The investigation conducted that led to the request to Machado was also the one that led to the dismissal of former Tar Heel Marvin Austin, who had commented on a party lifestyle in Miami that caught the attention of the university.

The expiration date on that request to not have contact with UNC players has since expired, although it is unknown if any UNC player has been in contact with Machado at any point since 2010.

Kansas State WR Dalton Schoen to miss Oklahoma State game

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Still with a chance to make some rumblings in the Big 12 title hunt, Kansas State will be down a wide receiver as they look to challenge Oklahoma State this week. Dalton Schoen will miss the Oklahoma State game with a reported broken collarbone.

The original report from The Wichita Eagle, the sophomore wide receiver broke his collarbone last week in a game against West Virginia. The injury, if accurately reported, would very likely be a season-ending injury. the chance of returning to a bowl game is unknown.

Schoen has caught 23 passes for 470 yards and three touchdowns this season.

Idaho prepares Kibbie Dome for FBS swan song

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On Saturday, the Idaho Vandals will host their final game as an FBS member in the Kibbie Dome, the lovable little domed stadium that had a bit of a cult following. With the Vandals preparing to make an unprecedented move down to the Football Championship Subdivision, the Kibbie Dome is not going anywhere, but the chance to appreciate it for its quirkiness as an FBS stadium is now or never.

What makes the Kibbie Dome unique is it was actually originally constructed as an outdoor stadium. The concrete structure became the home to Idaho football in October 1971 over the site of the school’s previous football stadium. After the 1974 season, however, the stadium was enclosed with a rood that mimics the look of an aircraft hanger. That led to quite a unique atmosphere that trapped the sound inside the stadium and made the gameday scene fell more compact. The stadium only ever held 16,000 fans for football, although it set a record with nearly 20,000 fans for a home football game against Boise State in 1989.

The Kibbie Dome was Idaho’s version of Syracuse’s Carrier Dome, in that it served multiple purposes. In addition to football, the Kibbie Dome has hosted basketball and other sporting events like track and field and tennis. Unlike the Carrier Dome, however, the Kibbie Dome was designed to let in natural sunlight. Some more modern dome stadiums with a larger budget have incorporated similar lighting features in more recent years, which suggests the Kibbie Dome was actually ahead of its time in one way.

For years, the Kibbie Dome has been the smallest stadium in the FBS. That is no longer be the case, courtesy of Idaho’s opponent this weekend. The new title of smallest FBS stadium will belong to Coastal Carolina. Brooks Stadium currently has a seating capacity of 15,000, although Coastal Carolina’s jump up to the FBS will lead to eventual stadium upgrades and renovations that should increase the capacity to some degree.

Farewell, Kibbie Dome. It was fun while it lasted. May the memories continue in the FCS.