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SMU players claim they were victims of theft… by a prostitute

smu

Oh, the joke possibilities for this story are endless.

Just like the search for more than $3,000 worth of laptops, televisions and video games belonging to three SMU players.

According to CBS DFW, three Mustang football players were victims of theft back in late April. But it wasn’t just that items in their house were stolen. It was who allegedly did the stealing:

One of the players, identified as Uchenna Nwabuike, told police he believed the person responsible for the thefts was an escort. The linebacker from Missouri City went on to tell authorities that he had, “made a deal with the suspect to have sex with her for $50.”

In the police report, Nwabuike admitted that, “he did not pay the suspect for the acts that she performed” and left the woman in the home alone while the players attended the banquet. 

Smooth.

Nwabuike is a sophomore linebacker who had eight tackles as a freshman last season. The two other players that had items stolen are not suspected to be connected to the lady of the night. The stolen items still have not been found and no disciplinary action has been taken by the university as of yet.

“We’re investigating the facts of the matter and will deal with it appropriately according to university guidelines,” a statement from SMU read.

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24 Responses to “SMU players claim they were victims of theft… by a prostitute”
  1. dryzzt23 says: Jul 27, 2012 1:19 PM

    OMG that is hilarious, I would think his roommates are furious at him

  2. TxGrown says: Jul 27, 2012 1:38 PM

    Ok here’s mine…this LB is the one who got sacked!….crickets chirping…..

  3. dannythebisforbeast says: Jul 27, 2012 2:22 PM

    That’s “risky business”.
    D

  4. cubano76 says: Jul 27, 2012 2:23 PM

    …….and winner of the “2012 College Football Dumbass of the Year Award” is presented to…..THIS GUY!

  5. dalucks says: Jul 27, 2012 2:24 PM

    You get what you pay for.

  6. brewcrewfan54 says: Jul 27, 2012 2:31 PM

    I’d hate to see what a hooker who will screw for $50 looks like.

  7. frug says: Jul 27, 2012 2:35 PM

    I wonder if this is what pushed Craig James over the edge while he was there…

  8. deanmarkley says: Jul 27, 2012 2:40 PM

    The NCAA needs to step in here now and quickly. SMU should be banned from bowl games for 4 years and lose 20 scholarships.

  9. zurnvs says: Jul 27, 2012 2:47 PM

    Watch the news young man, the secret service says pay ur bill.

  10. friarjack61 says: Jul 27, 2012 2:49 PM

    “Mom, would you call my agent, and ask him to send me an additional $50.00 ?” ” I need this for my 100 level, Personal Care class.” ” Tell him, that if I’m over my $1200 per month allowance, that I’ll repay, as soon as I get my pro contract.” “I still don’t know why I have to go to these useless classes.” “When I get my contract, I’ll make millions, and those jerks who go to classes wont’ make beans.” “Just get me the money.”

  11. deadeye says: Jul 27, 2012 2:57 PM

    Many negatives can arise from failure to pay bills in a timely manner including a poor credit rating, and theft by hookers.

  12. dannythebisforbeast says: Jul 27, 2012 3:21 PM

    Joel Goodson: You listen to me, buster. You, you a-hole.
    Guido: A-hole?
    Joel Goodson: I want my stuff back right now.
    Guido: Now you listen to me, you little f**k. Not only you take my two best girls, you call me names. If I didn’t have any self-respect, it wouldn’t just be the furniture, it’d be your arms, your legs, your head

    Substitute Uchenna for Joel and SMUs pimp for Guido. Case solved

  13. buckeye94 says: Jul 27, 2012 3:41 PM

    Here comes the death penalty for SMU again! Hahaha!

  14. brutusbuckeye2011 says: Jul 27, 2012 3:50 PM

    How dumb can you get? First of all, I would assume that consorting with prostitutes would be frowned upon by a faith based school like SMU (violation of team rules????). Secondly, would you want your mother and the mothers of the other players to know you hired a hooker?

  15. jpiro says: Jul 27, 2012 4:13 PM

    Look up the lyrics to “She’s Crafty” by the Beastie Boys. They warned you about this 25 years ago, son!

    “He thought she was a thief – and D. was right
    But I just figured she’d spend the night
    When I woke up late in the afternoon
    She had taken all the things from inside his room
    I found myself naked in the middle of the floor
    She had taken the bed and the chest of drawers
    The mirror, the TV, the guitar cord
    My remote control and my old skateboard
    She robbed us blind – she took all we owned
    And the boys blamed me for bringing her home.”

  16. js20011041 says: Jul 27, 2012 4:25 PM

    Are you really an “escort” if you only charge $50? I’m not exactly an expert on the inner workings of the world of prostitution, but at that price, I’m guessing she was much closer to “street hooker” than “escort.”

  17. lucky5934 says: Jul 27, 2012 6:05 PM

    Am I the only one who thinks this story is BS? First of all, only $50 to sleep with an escort is crumbs. Not to mention that at that low of a price, he better hope he comes out disease free. Secondly, who in their right mind would leave an escort/stranger in their home all alone? That is beyond stupid, bordering no f’n way that would happen. You wait, there will be more to this story.

  18. norcalirish says: Jul 28, 2012 5:15 AM

    ROFL

  19. vols84 says: Jul 28, 2012 7:41 AM

    Now that he is out of the Senate race, anyone keeping tabs on Craig James?

  20. pdcooper08 says: Jul 28, 2012 8:00 AM

    I’m really thinking once the NCAA gets it right and starts paying these players, this kinda of thing will not occur anymore. I mean with all the extra money for pizza, movies and whores, they should now be able to avoid ten dollar Tina and get themselves a really high end girl.

    This dummy hired a crack whore and got robbed. Good job loser.

  21. raider2124 says: Jul 28, 2012 10:38 AM

    Should be kicked off the team. Stupid enough to leave a crack head in his apartment. Who knows what else this animal is capable of

  22. schaffershokai says: Jul 28, 2012 11:58 AM

    He should have been doing this with her: http://youtu.be/Q7c407OUBZs

  23. dexxx58 says: Jul 29, 2012 8:18 PM

    Poor fellow got screwed twice! Looking back in retrospect, he probably should have paid up.

  24. tailgater1 says: Aug 2, 2012 1:51 PM

    Welcome to the Big EastYou’ll fit right in.

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