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SEC coaches ranked on entertainment value? Sure, why not

Les Miles AP

It’s late in the offseason, so that means it’s time for newspapers and blogs alike to stir up some manure and/or feces ahead of the start of a new season.

The latest example? The Montgomery Advertiser‘s Josh Moon.

Ahead of the start of SEC Media Days this coming week, Moon posted a ranking of the coaches in that conference based on what’s described as “entertainment value.” His No. 1? South Carolina’s Steve Spurrier.

Based on any metric you could possibly devise, Moon is absolutely correct. Spurrier is easily the most entertaining head coach in the SEC — and (ever-so-slightly) ahead of Mike Leach in the whole of college football. In fact, he’s so far ahead of the rest of the conference pack, at least No. 2 and possibly No. 3 should’ve been left blank in deference to the Ol’ Ball Coach’s intrinsic ability to entertain fans and foes alike.

For the most part, Moon’s list is what it is: a lot of fun and really well done. I will, though, for the sake of argument (and a weekend post on a slooow day) take exception to the slotting of two of the coaches.

First, Nick Saban is at No. 8 in the 14-team league. Here’s Moon’s rationale:

“Whine if you want, Bama fans, but you know it’s true. Watching Alabama football games is slightly less boring than C-SPAN’s coverage of a Congressional hearing on interest rates. I’d rather watch soccer. There’s more scoring.

And then Saban strolls to the mic for interviews and acts as if he’s working towards solving world hunger. Other than the occasional news conference tantrum and two watchable games per year, it’s dreadful. It’s like “Boardwalk Empire”: all the pieces are there, and they usually work OK, but it’s so boring your eyes bleed.”

Maybe it’s just me, but I love just about everything about Tuscaloosa Saban. Love watching Saban’s Tide football team play on the field, love listening to Saban any time off of it, love the ofttimes condescending nature of Saban’s tone with the media.  His views on fast-paced offenses are self-serving, but nobody’s perfect.

To me, Nick Saban is THE most fascinating person/personality in all of college football — yes, above Spurrier, Leach, Delany, Slive and the whole lot of them. Does that equate to entertaining? No, especially not if compared to the OBC or The Pirate. With all due respect to the esteemed Mr. Moon, though, No. 8 is just way too low for my tastes.

Even more “indefensible?” Les Miles at No. 4.

“The guy eats grass, wears a hat that’s a minimum two sizes too small, makes funny videos of himself, once invited me to ride along to the airport with him so we could finish an impromptu interview and routinely says some of the craziest nonsense you’ve ever heard. He also wins. His teams can be a tad boring at times, even a bit Bama-ish. But Les … oh, Les is never boring.”

OK, this slotting shouldn’t and won’t stand without some (lighthearted) push back.

Behind Spurrier? Absolutely; every other current head coach in the country stands in line behind the OBC. Behind Auburn’s Gus Malzahn (Moon’s No. 2) and Texas A&M’s Kevin Sumlin (No. 3)? Nope.

Les Miles rappelling down a building… Les Miles butt-tweeting… Les Miles making out with a pig… Les Miles exalting and basking in swatting away the basketball dreams of a child… Les Miles clapping like a seal that got kicked out of the rookery for said clapping… Les Miles just being Les Miles is infinitely more entertaining than anything anyone not named Spurrier could ever hope of putting on the table.

A solid offseason list and good fodder for discussion, but Miles at No. 4?  C’mon now Mr. Moon.

(Writer’s note: excellent work, good stuff.  Just having a little weekend fun.)

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13 Responses to “SEC coaches ranked on entertainment value? Sure, why not”
  1. ancientcougar says: Jul 12, 2014 8:37 PM

    Miles is definitely No. 2

  2. justafan2014 says: Jul 12, 2014 8:59 PM

    Let’s Geaux LSU tigers

  3. dcroz says: Jul 12, 2014 9:09 PM

    Considering this is from a Montgomery writer (which leans more towards Auburn) I’d say this is homerism on his part. Seriously, outside of Auburn, would anyone even know Malzahn if they saw him walking down the street? He’s entertaining if you base it entirely on his offensive scheme (which this writer seems to do) but so far he’s been run-of-the-mill off the field, not doing or saying anything in press conferences or other appearances to set himself apart from the pack. Spurrier is a solid number one, though Miles is not far behind him at number two. Saban is number three, because when he talks, everyone listens even if just to rake him over the coals for saying something pretentious or hostile. Sumlin arguably would come in at number four, because his offense is every bit as entertaining as Malzahn’s plus he’s shown he can be interesting in a press conference. Malzahn comes it at number five.

  4. wolfman55h says: Jul 12, 2014 9:11 PM

    Les has the ‘want to be victorious’

  5. Deb says: Jul 12, 2014 9:23 PM

    Spurrier definitely reigns at #1. And I agree, JT: If he were in the SEC, the Pirate would place second. Still wish we could claim the “Fat Little Girlfriends” speech!

    But as it is Les Miles has to be #2. My goodness … the man eats grass! Does Gus Malzahn eat grass? No. Les is a hoot!!

    And Saban should rank higher than 8. As a Bama fan, I don’t care whether he’s entertaining as long as he wins. But that rabid chihuahua bit he does when things go wrong is hysterical.

  6. dg0122 says: Jul 12, 2014 11:44 PM

    CSB time: I was at an event at the Maravich Center and Les Miles walked up to me in the concourse and asked me where the men’s room was

  7. cubano76 says: Jul 12, 2014 11:58 PM

    If you don’t like these coaches, it’s pretty simple. Just beat them. If you can’t, you have to sit there and deal with it.

  8. cranespy says: Jul 13, 2014 1:17 AM

    Les sniffs the air and with eyes open wide, turns his head and looks around………..”they call this place Death Valley, it’s where dreams come to die!”

    It doesn’t get better than that……Les Miles #1.

  9. dhardy8207 says: Jul 13, 2014 8:43 AM

    “Whine if you want, Bama fans, but you know it’s true. Watching Alabama football games is slightly less boring than C-SPAN’s coverage of a Congressional hearing on interest rates. I’d rather watch soccer. There’s more scoring.”

    ———————————————————-

    This guy is an Auburn fan.. The last bit of the last sentence says just how biased he is. They won the Iron Bowl this year in a hale mary, last second (literally) and all of a sudden it totally wipes out the memory of their 49-0 beat down they took at the hands of BAMA last year….

  10. thefiesty1 says: Jul 13, 2014 10:10 AM

    It’s Miles by a mile. His press conferences are a riot.

  11. wolfman55h says: Jul 13, 2014 10:58 AM

    What’s most important in the SEC is despite, the quirks, obsession for winning and pretentiousness(Saban) these coaches are decent people. They’re not going to do anything severe to embarrass themselves, family or universities that employ them. In the sports world of today that’s all too rare. GEAUX Tigers.

  12. normtide says: Jul 13, 2014 11:04 AM

    The OBC is clearly number one. His comments are calculated while Les has more of a slapstick, Jim Carrey style.

  13. floridacock says: Jul 13, 2014 2:44 PM

    per Spurrier, HBC not OBC. He is more fit than most of us.

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