For my money, there is not a funnier, more quotable football coach in the country than Texas Tech’s Mike Leach. Certainly he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but he never fails to make me laugh.
(In the interest of full disclosure, fart and poop jokes still crack me up as well.)
Following the Red Raiders’ stunning loss to Texas A&M, Leach certainly didn’t disappoint on the comedy front. The coach seemed to blame complacency and being showered with praise by their better halves -- or fulls, as the weighty case may be -- for the loss.
“We pound on Kansas State,’' Leach said immediately after the game, “so A&M looks at the film all week. The (Aggies) strut around and laugh - you know, ho-ho-ho, ha-ha-ha, and they listen to their fat li’l’ ol’ girlfriend, and pretty soon, what happens in Manhattan happens.
“Well, the first thing we do is we go in our meeting and we talk about we’re going to respect everyone; we’re going to fear no one. We’re not going to compare scores and we’re not going to listen to our fat little girlfriends.”
You would think, with some time to reflect, Leach would be done with that particular public tack. You would be wrong.
When given the opportunity to take the edge off his weekend remarks, Leach instead piled on like Oprah at an all-you-can buffet.
"[The coaches failed to make] our points more compelling than their fat little girlfriends. Now their fat little girlfriends have some obvious advantages. For one thing, their fat little girlfriends are telling them what they want to hear, which is ‘how great you are’ and ‘how easy its going to be’ and we had a bunch of people who wanted to win the football game but nobody wanted to play the football game.
“That defies every level of work ethic that exists with regard to football. As coaches, we have to solve our failure on reaching them and the players have to listen. I am willing to go to fairly amazing lengths to make that happen. I don’t know if I will be successful this week or not but I am going to try and there will be some people inconvenienced and if it happens to be their fat little girlfriends too bad.”
Mr. Leach, you have somebody from someplace called ‘NOW’ on Line 1...
I bet you could’ve made a pretty good chunk of change betting that three of the biggest story lines of the college football weekend would involve tacos, an n-bomb being directed at a Chinese coordinator via Twitter, and obese girlfriends being responsible for a loss.