Leach blames 'fat little girlfriends' for loss

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For my money, there is not a funnier, more quotable football coach in the country than Texas Tech’s Mike Leach.  Certainly he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but he never fails to make me laugh.

(In the interest of full disclosure, fart and poop jokes still crack me up as well.)

Following the Red Raiders’ stunning loss to Texas A&M, Leach certainly didn’t disappoint on the comedy front.  The coach seemed to blame complacency and being showered with praise by their better halves — or fulls, as the weighty case may be — for the loss.

“We pound on Kansas State,” Leach said immediately after the game, “so A&M looks at the film all week. The (Aggies) strut around and laugh – you know, ho-ho-ho, ha-ha-ha, and they listen to their fat li’l’ ol’ girlfriend, and pretty soon, what happens in Manhattan happens.

“Well, the first thing we do is we go in our meeting and we talk about we’re going to respect everyone; we’re going to fear no one. We’re not going to compare scores and we’re not going to listen to our fat little girlfriends.”

You would think, with some time to reflect, Leach would be done with that particular public tack.  You would be wrong.

When given the opportunity to take the edge off his weekend remarks, Leach instead piled on like Oprah at an all-you-can buffet.

“[The coaches failed to make] our points more compelling than their fat little girlfriends. Now their fat little girlfriends have some obvious advantages. For one thing, their fat little girlfriends are telling them what they want to hear, which is ‘how great you are’ and ‘how easy its going to be’ and we had a bunch of people who wanted to win the football game but nobody wanted to play the football game.

That defies every level of work ethic that exists with regard to football. As coaches, we have to solve our failure on reaching them and the players have to listen. I am willing to go to fairly amazing lengths to make that happen. I don’t know if I will be successful this week or not but I am going to try and there will be some people inconvenienced and if it happens to be their fat little girlfriends too bad.”

Mr. Leach, you have somebody from someplace called ‘NOW’ on Line 1…

I bet you could’ve made a pretty good chunk of change betting that three of the biggest story lines of the college football weekend would involve tacos, an n-bomb being directed at a Chinese coordinator via Twitter, and obese girlfriends being responsible for a loss.

Duke QB Thomas Sirk to miss season with Achilles injury

Duke quarterback Thomas Sirk (1) looks to pass against North Carolina during the first half of an NCAA college football game in Chapel Hill, N.C., Saturday, Nov. 7, 2015. (AP Photo/Gerry Broome)
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Duke quarterback Thomas Sirk‘s senior season is over before it started.

The Blue Devils announced Saturday Sirk suffered a partial tear of his left Achilles tendon during Thursday’s practice and will undergo surgery at an undisclosed date.

A fifth-year senior, the injury will end Sirk’s career unless the NCAA grants him a medical redshirt. Which, to be clear, there’s no reason — on the surface, at least — he wouldn’t receive one. This is the third Achilles injury Sirk has suffered in the last three-and-a-half years. He missed the 2013 campaign with an Achilles rupture in his right ankle during the spring, and ruptured his left Achilles in February of this year.

Sirk led the Devils to a Pinstripe Bowl victory last season. On the year, he completed 59 percent of his throws for 2,625 yards with 16 touchdowns.

Parker Boehme, a redshirt junior and Sirk’s backup last season, figures to start in Sirk’s stead. He completed 43-of-78 throws for 579 yards last season.

Miami dismisses Muhammad, Grace for NCAA rules violations

MIAMI GARDENS, FL - SEPTEMBER 21: Al-Quadin Muhammad #98 of the Miami Hurricanes sacks Antonio Bostick #13 of the Savannah State Tigers on September 21, 2013 at Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida. (Photo by Joel Auerbach/Getty Images)
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Miami has dismissed veterans Al-Quadin Muhammad and Jermaine Grace for violations of NCAA rules, the program announced Saturday.

The reason for the investigation, per the Palm Beach Post, was the pair’s use of luxury rental cars.

The statement from ‘Canes head coach Mark Richt:

“The University of Miami announced today that red-shirt junior Al-Quadin Muhammad and senior Jermaine Grace have been permanently dismissed from the Hurricanes football program for violating NCAA rules.  The University will, however, continue their financial aid through graduation.  The decision was made in consultation with outside counsel and after discussions with the NCAA enforcement staff.  As no staff members or boosters were involved in the violations, the program will not be subject to sanctions and, at this time, the University deems this matter closed.”

Muhammad (pictured, 98) was one of Miami’s top returning players on the defensive line. An Irvington, N.J., native, he registered 54 tackles while leading the club with 8.5 TFLs and five sacks a season ago.

Grace was also penciled in to start along the Hurricanes’ defensive front. The Miami Gardens native posted a team-high 79 tackles from his linebacker spot with six TFLs, two sacks and five pass breakups, which also ranked third on the club.

The suspensions could have an impact beyond affecting defensive coordinator Manny Diaz‘s unit as well.

The Hurricanes’ probation doesn’t end until October.

Miami will have time to ease Muhammad and Grace’s replacements into the lineup. The Hurricanes open with Florida A&M and Florida Atlantic at home, then visit Appalachian State and take a week off before opening ACC play at Georgia Tech. Florida State comes to Miami on Oct. 8.

Marshall dismisses safety Tiquan Lang

HUNTINGTON, WV - SEPTEMBER 6: Tiquan Lang #21 of the Marshall Thundering Herd returns an interception for a touchdown late in the second half against the Purdue Boilermakers at Joan C. Edwards Stadium on September 6, 2015 in Huntington, West Virginia. Marshall defeated Purdue 41-31. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
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Marshall has dismissed safety Tiquan Lang, the program announced in a statement Friday.

The dreaded “violation of team rules” is the culprit here. Draw your own conclusions from there.

“Marshall senior safety Tiquan Lang has been dismissed due to a violation of team rules and policies,” said head coach Doc Holliday.

Lang ranked second on the team last fall with 91 tackles. He also posted two interceptions, six pass break ups and a tackle for loss.

He posted a career day in the 2015 opener, posting 17 tackles and returning two interceptions for touchdowns in a 41-31 win over Purdue. Lang was named Conference USA’s Defensive Player of the Week for becoming the first C-USA player since 1998 to record two pick sixes in the same game.

Mike White wins battle of transfers for Western Kentucky QB job

BOWLING GREEN, KY - DECEMBER 5:  Players of the WKU Hilltoppers celebrate with their fans after a game against the Southern Miss Golden Eagle at Houchens-Smith Stadium on December 5, 2015 in Bowling Green, Kentucky.  The Hilltoppers defeated the Golden Eagles 45-28.  (Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)
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One of the most enviable jobs in Group of 5 football has been awarded.

Western Kentucky head coach Jeff Brohm has announced Mike White will be the Hilltoppers’ starting quarterback this season. A transfer from South Florida, White defeated Louisville transfer Tyler Ferguson and sophomore Drew Eckles to win the job.

“Mike has done a nice job preparing himself for this moment and operates our offense well,” Brohm said, via the Louisville Courier-Journal. “All three of our veteran quarterbacks worked extremely hard and will be prepared if we call their number. On Thursday, Mike will be our starter and I’m excited for his potential to lead our team.”

A native of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., White, a redshirt junior, started off and on for the Bulls in 2013 and ’14 (oddly enough, the Bulls’ down years before taking off in 2015), tossing a total of 11 touchdowns against 16 interceptions. The Bulls 2-12 in games where he saw significant action though, to be fair, he was hardly South Florida’s only work in progress at that time.

White inherits the job from Brandon Doughty, who ranked second and third nationally in passing over the past two seasons. Doughty is now with the Miami Dolphins.

Western Kentucky opens its season Thursday against Rice.